Juggling Motherhood

Who says that being a mother is easy? At least now i know it isn’t.

It was a long weekend and i was looking forward for an outing. However the husband was busy-busy-busy and i was so frustrated. Melaka was jam packed and i couldn’t bring myself to drive or go anywhere with the kids without the husband.

I wasn’t sure who was more upset, me or the kids because the kids seemed OK all weekend long.

To make things worst, i had to cancel my Saturday playgroup since the mommies requested so. i so love having and handling the playgroup. That is one of my entertainment.

Thank you Allah that i have another playgroup in Merlimau, which i almost cancelled too because we have guests at home on Sunday night. However, since our guests went home that night so the class was held as usual. Alhamdulillah.

I was burnt out. I felt like getting angry on everything and anything. Poor kids (and husband) for having to put up with my unstable state of mind.

I also don’t know what I need- I know what I want, but it feels selfish. I want time to write. I want to meditate. I want to hike alone. But unless I am quite apart from my husband & son, it’s, “Mommy, he needs you!”

That is taken from a comment in an entry by theparentingpassageway.com. I feel that too. Kids are calling me and talking to me non-stop and i just want to get rid of all that for at least 10 minutes. Somehow i couldn’t get it.

No, it is not the kids’ faults. I’ve been a stay-at-home-mom for 8 months now and i guess i just need a break.

Alhamdulillah, the long weekend is over and today, i sent the kids to school. Yes, everyone including Sawda. I just need to refresh myself and insya Allah, when they come home today, i will be a better mom again.

Btw, i had to promise Hamzah that he does not have to go to school tomorrow so that i have my time-off today. Selfish?

You decide.



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