So i gave birth during the AMANI training and i just completed day one. Husband told me that it’s ok if i wanted to attend the other 2 days, but i decided not to.
it was a wise decision because i had severe hemorrhoid the day after.
Let me finish the story at the masjid before we move on to post birth story.
The next morning, hubby cleaned the towels and pillow cases. We were worried if the blood stains couldn’t be washed away. I told the husband that i wanted to pay extra for laundry but the husband said it may not be enough. So, we told Najwa (as the organizer) to tell the Masjid admin to call us if needed. We are happy to compensate or pay for the laundry.
Then, we went to the dewan seminar before we left to say goodbye. Zaynab was lucky to be welcomed to the world by loving aunties. We could feel the overflowing love. Thanks for all the kind wishes and doa made for us.
Then off we go. I felt uncomfortable all the way. However, the pain didn’t come from the vgg. Soi was wondering what caused the pain. Unfortunately, it was the hemorrhoid. I have had hemorrhoid since i was a teenager. It got worsen after 1st delivery. Had a prolapse staples procedure in 2009. Then it wasn’t so bad anymore. Didn’t have any problem with it during pregnancy so i wasn’t prepared for it postbirth.
Anyway, no matter how bad it was, i know i shouldn’t be complaining. We can’t have everything, can we? My dream birth came true, so this is just minor. It will eventually go away. Plus i believe this was a way Allah telling me to rest. Or else, i would think i was already fit and healthy because really, there were no pain anywhere else.
We spent 2 weeks at my mom. Initially, i thought of staying at my own house.
“If i can handle child birth, postpartum shouldn’t be so hard.”
Oh boy, i was wrong. Thank you Allah for my mom. May Allah reward her with Jannah in hereafter.
Zaynab was an easy baby to handle and to take care of. She woke up every 2 hours for feeding. I choose not to use cloth diapers yet during my stay at my mom. Didn’t want to burden her with all extra work (plus this was my first time CD-ing fulltime).
Recovery was fast. Hemorrhoid was gone after day 4. Kids were excited with their newborn sister and kept wanting to kiss, cuddle and hold their sister which made me mad. I kept reminding myself to keep calm.😛
Zaynab had jaundice but i wasn’t too worry because all my kids had prolonged jaundice. The reading was not too high. Alhamdulillah. I just hate the idea of admitting her to hospital and putting her under the UV lights. So i fed her often. Plus she was active and alert. She also poo and peed frequently. Her head was shaved on day 7th.
I was suppose to return home today. Told the husband to fetch us after lunch. Had everything ready and the kids were excited to be back home. But the husband did not come to my mom’s until 5 pm. I got mad since i did not want to reach home too late. You know-lah, babies are sensitive. I want her to be familiar with the house before night time. The house had been left for quite sometime. I didn’t want to travel near maghrib too. Banyak syaitan!
So i refused to follow the husband home when he came. After he left, i started to having migraine-like headache and had cold sweat though i was feeling hot. I guess i had bentan. It was an expensive lesson to learn. I said, i trust only in Allah swt.
The Quran says: “Say:Nothing will befall us except what Allah has decreed for us”
But i was acting the other way. So contradict. That experience restored my faith.
La ilaha illAllah. Astagfirullahal ‘azim.
I recite istigfar as much as i can that night. I know i have sinned.
Anwyay, the pain subsided the next day. The husband fetch us after lunch.
I so love being at my own house. Home sweet home!
Zaynab adapted easily, well, this is her home. She continued doing things she was good at, sleeping, feeding, pooping. The other kids were happier because they have access to internet all the time. The husband was happy too because everyone was finally home.
Started CD-ing full time and it was easy! I also start using cloth pad which was another new experience for me. Kids were helpful especially Umar. Couldn’t imagine how much work i need to do if he weren’t around.
So that was my postbirth experience.
The whole pregnancy, birthing and post birth experience was a humbling experience for me. It restored my faith. We can make plans, but Allah’s plan is the greatest.
It taught me to understand myself, my body.
I learnt to make peace with everything else no matter how bad a person or an incident is.
Next: birth registration process for homebirth baby.